As the use of methamphetamine rises in the city, so too do stories of addiction and heartache. For some, it may seem like there is no hope for recovery. However, with the right mindset and support, it is possible. In the final installment of our series, we bring you the story of a Moose Jaw resident who’s addiction drove him to attempt suicide, twice, but now he’s been clean from all drugs for over a decade.

Shaun Drake said it wasn’t until he decided to get sober that his life turned into what he wanted it to become. 

“When I got clean, my kids came, everything fell in place.” 

Drake, now 39, has been sober from hard drugs and pharmaceuticals for 13 years. Before then, he says he experimented with all kinds of substances for nearly two decades. 

“Grade eight was when I started going off track. I started drinking and stuff then cigarettes. Then I got into grade nine and started hanging out with a different type of friends and started with more cigarettes and drinking. So if you want to know the gateway: alcohol.”

He says that started him down a path from a good family and upbringing onto the road of experimentation. He never had any particularly damaging or traumatic experiences, he just wanted to fit it.  

“People accepted you. I took to drinking because I thought it was a cool thing to do. You see the older people do it and it’s socially acceptable and same with smoking cigarettes.”

From there, the experimentation progressed eventually to pharmaceuticals, mainly due to price and what Drake says was the ease of access to them. Ritalin, now called Adderall, became his drug of choice. 

“It is meth, it is just pure meth. I tried the methamphetamine [street drug], but it's too expensive and it's dirty. It's like morphine and herione; the doctor has the good sh*t.” 

A functioning addict, Drake said he stayed employed through his addiction, supporting friends financially here and there, sometimes coaching them on what to say to their doctors to get a prescription so that he and others could buy from them.  

Through the years that followed, the road Drake was following became darker and darker, leading him to his first suicide attempt via overdose. 

“Then I downed a 26 of whisky. My girlfriend and her friend came home, called the ambulance, pumped my stomach. And I remember waking up in the hospital with my family all around me, thinking, 'what the f*ck am I doing here?' I was angry. That wasn't the thing I should have felt. I made my parents cry and I started seeing it then.” 

Even though the damage in his life was now obvious, Drake continued to use. He said it was after staying awake for 28 days, high on Ritalin and a cocktail of other pharmaceuticals, that he attempted suicide a second time. 

“I tried to take my own life again, so they put my in the psych ward, certified me. So I took my shoelaces out of my boot and wrapped them around my neck... One of my mom's friends found me. She came into the room, she was a nurse there. She cut the rope off, they got me breathing again.  When my parents came, that's when I really saw, 'I'm damaging my family and damaging everybody, not just me.’” 

Through it all, Drake’s girlfriend, Aubray Gadd, was there by his side, hopeful, even when he tried pushing her away.  

“Because I love him,” said Gadd, “and I didn't know what was ahead of us, but it had to have been better than what was going on.”

It wasn’t easy. Gadd said there was a period of time when she neglected her own family events in order to help her boyfriend. 

“I put my family through hell. I chose him over my family. They never encouraged me to leave, they totally left that for me to decide, but I chose him over my family, on numerous occasions. My little sister hated me for a long time. We have the absolute best relationship now, but at that point I was like, 'what the hell am I doing?”

Ultimately, the hope Aubray had held onto for years was realized. After Shaun recovered from his second suicide attempt, Aubray found out she was pregnant with their first child. Shaun’s been sober ever since. They've added three more children and two pets to the family and have now been together for a total of 17 years. 

“We are not here just on a whim,” Drake said. “It's been proven to me so many times. I've had too many second chances, I'm here for a reason. Maybe my reason’s just raise my kids. It wouldn't have came to me if I was loaded.” 

Although Gadd said the difficulties still reside in the back of her mind, life is definitely much better now. 

"We're stronger as individuals becaue we know our boundaries, and definitely as a couple because we went through it from start to finish with each other. We know each other's weaknesses, and definitely know our strengths."

If you or someone you know is suffering from an addiction, know that help is available. Healthy Living Consultants are available every day by same-day appointment at Crescentview Clinic, and on Wednesday evenings to drop-in clients. Physician care is also available at other walk-in clinics by making a same-day appointment such as Alliance Health. You can also call Mental Health and Addictions Services at the Dr. F.H. Wigmore Hospital at (306) 691-6464.