Dear Addiction, 

I am writing you to thank you and inform you that even though I am still feeling the after effects of your deceit, lies, broken promises, destruction, and destroying of my life, a part of you has gave me great insight, taught me valuable lessons, shown me your tremendous power over people, you changed my views, and gave me a great urge to fix myself, help others, and be there for others. But most of all allowed me to start loving myself. 

I am renouncing you from my life totally, I am divorcing you and refuse to give you anything more!! 

I cannot be with you anymore! 

I do not love you anymore! 

I am divorcing you! 

Please don’t come around me and if you do, I will make sure you are removed from my world! 

No longer yours….

***

Chad Kobelsky has been clean from methamphetamine for nearly eight months after a three-year “romance” that he says nearly destroyed his life. 

“It just helped mask things, is all it really did. It ruins your thinking and eventually, you get almost delusional.”

The 43-year-old, married with two children steamfitter from Mossbank said in his teenage years he started using marijuana and it wasn’t until drug testing was introduced in the workplace much later in his life that he turned to harder substances.

“When they brought in drug testing, we switched from [marijuana] because it stayed in your system too long. I was used to this white picket fence, boring life, didn't keep myself amused right? So then I got into this and then my life was a little bit exciting.” 

He began using cocaine periodically. 

“That became a little more,” he said, “and then I was introduced to meth.” 

The allure of methamphetamine was, for Kobelsky, mainly the cheaper price compared to cocaine. 

“I know when I decided, ‘that’s it I’m going to smoke meth.’ One night I was by myself, and I spent 900 dollars [on cocaine] that night. You could probably get three and a half grams [of meth] between 120 to150 dollars. That would last quite a while, maybe three or four days.” 

Kobelsky said although he didn’t like meth the first time he tried it, after a few more uses he realized he liked the effects of staying awake for long hours and the initial weight loss. 

“I think the first month of using meth I lost like 45 pounds, so I was a little happy about that, but during use obviously you don't look very well, but your mind makes you think you do. There was a few little positives that I liked about it, but generally, it was really bad.” 

Over the course of the next few months, the frequency of Kobelsky’s use increased to a point where he said staying awake for several days at a time became normal, which is a common effect of methamphetamine. Consequently, he began falling asleep at work and while driving. 

“I had a few accidents, like hitting the ditch and stuff like that because of it. Once I was going to work, and I'd stayed up so long, I was driving, and I woke up in a little gravel pit. I had to drive a long ways off my path to get there, I didn't even know how to get out of there. You realize: ‘whoa, something's wrong here big time,’ but it's hard to break the cycle.”

Despite the warning signs, Kobelsky continued to use, eventually switching from smoking crystal meth to injecting it. 

“That's when I was the lowest. I did needles all day. It got to the point where I'd take them to work too. When you do coke or crack or something, once you quit, the next day you don't jones for it as much, whereas meth is a constant everyday thing. It gets to the point where when you wake up you just need it almost to start thinking clearer.”

Kobelsky said at one point in his addiction, his family life was ruined. Normally happy to attend family gatherings, he quit going because he simply didn’t care to anymore. He said there were even a few times he told his wife of 28 years that he was driving to Moose Jaw to pick up groceries and did not come home for up to a week while she was left wondering where he was. 

“The biggest thing I guess is it allowed me not to care about a lot of things. That allows you to do lots of things you wouldn't normally do, which can be really bad. You lose all morals when you do meth because you don't care.”

Things began to change in May 2018, when Kobelsky was arrested for trafficking methamphetamine.

“Work had slowed down, so that compounded some more problems because I didn't have the money there. Then you sell a little bit here and there just to pay for your use. That seems to be what everybody is doing, which makes it worse.”

He continued to use until January 2019, at which point he'd been arrested a few more times for various breaches of court orders, and was facing serious jail time. Since none of the charges against him were the result of violent crimes, he was given the option of going through Drug Treatment Court, which got him started on recovery. 

It was then that he penned his “divorce letter” to meth.

He’s now been through three detox programs, completed a 35-day treatment program, and is currently working through the requirements that resulted from Drug Treatment Court decisions, which he’s set to graduate from in January 2020. 

Looking back over the past year, now Kobelsky says he’s grateful that he had no choice but to stop using crystal meth because he may not have reached out for help to stop.

“Getting arrested… it's ruined a lot of things, closed a lot of doors in my life. I don't regret it, because it saved my life. They say jails, institution, death, and you know what was coming next.” 

Now Kobelsky believes that everyone should go through some kind of treatment to address their mental health issues, even if they don’t have an addiction.

“I went to treatment and it was the best thing that could have happened to me. Not only just because I quit or got off the drug, but because I learned to deal with the problems I had before that I would use drugs to cover. I had problems I didn't even know were problems. You've got to find out the underlying reason. Nobody just uses just to go out and use.”

In his divorce letter to meth, Kobelsky pledged to rebuild, restart, repair, and reform not only his own damaged relationships but also society’s ideas and perceptions about addicts.

“Society thinks of addicts as low-life nothings... Most addicts I've come across, they're very smart people, very creative people, they are really good people deep down, they just have a problem that they have to address to get rid of that addiction. Even myself going through treatment, I realized how good people really are.”

If you or someone you know is suffering from an addiction, know that help is available. Healthy Living Consultants are available every day by same-day appointment at Crescentview Clinic, and on Wednesday evenings to drop-in clients. Physician care is also available short-notice at other walk-in clinics, such as Alliance Health, by making a same-day appointment. You can also call Mental Health and Addictions Services at the Dr. F.H. Wigmore Hospital at (306) 691-6464.  

READ MORE: Moose Jaw Meth Crisis Part 1: A Problem of Mental Health

Check Discover Moose Jaw on Saturday, Nov. 28 for Part 3 of our methamphetamine crisis series, 'The Trickle Out Effects.'